Kingdom Hearts 2: Re:Make, Re:Code, Re:Mix, Re:Spoof
by Ten-Tailed-God
Summary: And so the story begins anew, retold and revamped. Sora goes off on his new adventure where nothing makes sense but the keyblade in his hands and his two teammates by his side. The worlds are totally screwed...


**Hello reader, if you are actually bothering to read this disclaimer then please lend me your ears and listen. This is a parody of a parody and should not be read by anyone. You should understand that because of it I have either exaggerated or flanderized a lot of stuff. Please also know that I do not own Kingdom Hearts in any way shape or form. If I did Billy Zane would still be trying to sink Kingdom Hearts into the ocean like he did the Titanic. I KNOW IT WAS HIM HAHAHAHA!**

 _ **Another Side, A Whole Different Story**_

 _What the hell is this? Why am I dreaming about this guy? It seems kinda gay…_

A boy with brown spiky hair who wore red shorts and shirt with a white and blue vest was running up a flight of stairs. His ridiculously oversized yellow shoes slapped on the steps while in his fingerless gloved hands was a large steel colored key with a golden guard. He swung his blade key-

 _Keyblade_

He swung his keyblade at a creature that was pitch black with antennae while it had emotionless round yellow eyes. It disappeared in a cloud of dust when the keyblade hit it. As he ran up the stairs behind him a duck in a blue hat and robes with too many zippers followed while zapping the black creatures that appeared in front of the boy. Behind the duck was a large dog that wore a green shirt with yellow pants and brown shoes followed with a shield that had an emblem made of two small circles attached to one large circle.

Then the boy ran to the top of the stairs to see a redheaded girl lying on the ground. The boy's face became filled with fear as he shouted out something, probably the girl's name. He ran over to her and got on one knee and picked the girl up while shaking her. Her head flopped back and forth before the boy stopped shaking her and dropped her unceremoniously onto the ground before he looked to his left.

There standing before a rainbow colored portal stood a boy with white hair who was wearing a purple bodysuit. The boy raised his hand up and flipped him off. The dream suddenly shifted to the boy and girl standing a foot away from each other in a black void. They were both screaming at each other while the rocks which they were both standing on floated away…very slowly.

The dream shifted again to the boy standing before a girl in a white dress with blonde hair and blue eyes. In her hand was a notebook which she was drawing in. The boy looked a little tired and appeared to be talking to the girl. The girl smiled before pulling from her still developing bust, a rolled up joint which was rubberbanded to a lighter. The girl passed the joint over to the boy who took it and put it in his mouth. The girl lit up the joint in the boy's mouth which made his eyes widen before he fell back and was surrounded by an oval of whiteness.

Now the dream shifted to-

 _Wait! That's me!_

A boy with golden blonde hair was falling in water. He wore a white short sleeved checker jacket over a black high collared jacket. His pants were dual colored with the legs being beige while everything else being black. His shoes were colored in grays and blacks. On his wrist was a checker colored wristband while his fingers had a black and a white ring.

Eventually his fall through the water ceased as he slammed face first on a glass stained floor in the design of the boy he saw earlier in his dream. He felt much pain in his body from this but he managed to ignore it and pick himself up from the ground.

 **Welcome to your tutorial…**

"What are you talking about?" The boy said.

 **Shut up Roxas. Now pick a weapon.**

As the mysterious voice said this three pillars lifted themselves up from the ground. The first pillar was a sword, the second a shield, and the third was a magic staff. Roxas looked at each of these weapons and then in the sky in thought. Roxas looked down at the weapons before running at the alters and grabbing each one of the weapons.

 **What are you doing? You can only pick one.**

Roxas just laughed. "I can do what I want, shut up!" Roxas responded before he tried to walk away from the area.

 **You will regret this…**

Then out of nowhere a group of white creatures with zippers for mouths and a symbol on their foreheads ran up to Roxas and began to beat him up. Roxas fell to the ground and felt these creatures both punch and kick him. He tried to put the shield in his hands but the creatures ripped it out of his hands and continued the assault before running off into the darkness.

Roxas, who was now in a fetal position looked up to see if the coast was clear. He was about to get up when the creatures from before came out of the darkness once again and began to kick him. Roxas swung his sword and staff at the creatures in a feeble attempt to kill the creatures but they ripped the weapons from his hands and continued to beat on him.

Finally one of the creatures held its hands out in a gesture to stop its breatheren. The beating stopped and the lead creature picked Roxas up by the collar of his jacket. It then headbutted him.

 **Bitch**

Roxas woke up in his bed with a jolt and looked at his window which had it's shutters drawn. Roxas pushed the shutters open to reveal a massive town which was shaded by a sun on the precipice of setting. Above the town massive words formed.

 **Twilight Town**

A bird then flew into the words and fell to the ground below. "Why do those words always appear when I open these shutters?" Roxas asked as he pulled himself out of bed. He noticed that he was now in a white and blue shirt with blue sweats. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out his clothes which he put on. Then he walked downstairs to the kitchen. He went over to the fridge and pulled out a donut which he ate before he walked to the door of the house.

"Bye invisible parents!" Roxas shouted.

"Bye son!" A male and female voice shouted. Roxas then walked out of the house and ran to the hangout of his friends. The hangout was a place in a side alley which had some crates stacked together while a couch sat at the far end. Sitting on one of the crates was a blonde teen who wore a black shirt with a vest over it while he wore a pair of camo pants.

"Hey Roxas!" The teen greeted. Two other teens who were sitting on the couch together talking stopped and looked in Roxas' direction when they heard this greeting. Roxas looked at the teens before going to a crate that was his favorite to sit on. He sat and looked back at his three friends.

The first teen was a fat kid with brown spiky hair that was held up by a headband. He wore a white short sleeved shirt with a red jersey over it. He also wore blue pants and blue and white shoes while around his neck was a purple bandana. Next to him was a girl with long brown hair who wore an orange tank top with a white floral design on the front, khaki colored capri pants, and orange socks with crème colored shoes.

"Hey, guys. How are you doing?" Roxas asked. The blonde teen shook his head in frustration.

"Annoyed." He responded. Roxas became confused at this.

"Why?" Roxas asked.

"Because, Seifer has been going around telling everyone that we have been stealing everyone's -." The blonde responded. Roxas' face contorted in confusion.

"They stole -?" The blonde replied. The girl's eyes widened at this.

"You can't say -, why not?" She asked.

"What the - do you mean we can't say -?" The fat kid's eyes widened as well in a comical fashion. "What I can't say - as well? Why the - not!" He said with tears in his eyes. The girl patted his back in sympathy at this.

"Yeah, they stole -."

"So they stole the word - and the word - as well. How does that work?" Roxas asked.

"I don't know, this is anime bullshit. Who knows what will happen next." The blonde turned to the other teens, "So Pence, Olette, how do you guys think we should fix this?" The blonde asked.

"I don't know Hayner. I think we scout out around town for this thief." Olette responded with her arms crossed while one hand was under her chin in a thinker's pose. Hayner looked at Olette with a grin.

"Yeah that should work. Let's go guys!" Haynr said confidently and ran off. Olette follwed with a girlish run while Pence lagged behind with after images of himself. Roxas shook his head in disbelief at what he saw and followed after them until he felt himself collapse to the ground and all he saw was darkness.

 _His heart is returning…Doubtless he'll awaken very soon._

 _Diz, why did we have to put him in this place anyway? We probably could have just pumped with enough drugs to keep him asleep instead of wasting all this time effort and money on such extreme measures and it would have gotten the same effect._

 _Because I wanted to put somebody in the matrix. I had this thing all set up to go even if it is still full of bugs and outdated software._

 _How outdated?_

 _Windows 2000._

 _You are cheap._

 _Shush, we mustn't talk. He is going into his tutorial._

 **Actually he already did it…And failed miserably. We can just skip it.**

 _Alright…Namine, wake him up._

Roxas groaned in pain before getting up. He then brushed himself off before running after his friends. He saw his friends before and armor shop. Hayner was talking to the shopkeeper who just pointed to a direction. Olette tugged on Hayner's vest and pointed to where Roxas was.

Hayner waved at Roxas. Eventually Roxas made it to his friends. "So what do we know?" Roxas asked.

"They said that we should run around until the plot hits us." Olette responded. Roxas shrugged at this.

"Alright then. I guess we can give it a try. Thanks shop guy." Roxas said in thanks as he waved to the shop keeper. The shop keeper did nothing and just stood there. "O…kay." Roxas said in slight confusion. "Come on guys, the plot should hit us eventually!" Roxas shouted before running off, behind him his friends followed while Pence literally lagged behind.

Eventually the made it to a courtyard where they saw a midget in a blue robe and oversized yellow hat, a tall brown jock in a jersey and black sweats and a girl with purple hair, a blue jacket and khakis that went down to her shins. The blue midget pointed to the group and the two others turned to look at them.

"Thieves!" The girl said in a dull monotone.

"Yeah, what'd ya do to da - you wack ass bitches?" The jock asked. The midget just stood there and did nothing but watch. The group was about to reply when suddenly they heard footsteps.

"Isn't this romantic? A bunch of thieves who took our -. Where did you put them, or did you just burn them. It doesn't matter because you guys are a bunch of lamers anyway." The teen said. He wore a white longcoat that covered his purple vest underneath. He wore brown pants that were tucked into his boots and to complete the look, he wore a wool hat.

"What did ya' just say!" Hayner said taking offense.

"Seifer, that insult belongs in the 90's. Why are you getting worked up about it?" Roxas asked.

"It's because that prick makes me so angry!" Hayner replied.

"Well isn't this just romantic. You two can't stop arguing over me. Well if you want me to forgive you for taking all the -, then I want you to come over here, get on your knees and suck my dick." Seifer replied. Roxas gulped at this but walked forward.

"Roxas, what are you doing?" Hayner shouted.

"Actually, it would be kinda hot if he did it…" Olette said with a blush on her face. The others looked at her as if she was crazy but then decided that the domination of Roxas in front of everybody was much more interesting.

'Oh God, I'm actually going through with it! Gotta find a way out fast.' Roxas thought to himself before he scanned the area for any way to escape this humiliation He eventually saw on the ground a perfect tool for getting his ass out of this problem. A blue plastic wiffleball bat with a fancy golden hilt and guard that was right at Seifer's feet. Roxas ignored how Seifer missed this weapon of mass destruction and instead trudged forward and got on his knees before Seifer.

Seifer smirked at this and walked towards Roxas and unzipped his pants. Roxas grabbed the plastic bat and slammed it up into his crotch. Seifer made a high pitched squeal and grabbed his crotch before he toppled to the ground. "Isn't…this…romantic." Seifer said. Roxas got up from the ground and looked at the bat that was being held reverently in his hands in awe.

"Truly this is the greatest weapon in the universe." Roxas said to himself. He then heard the click of a camera and turned to see Pence taking a picture of him. Suddenly a white creature zipped over to Pence and swirled around him before taking his camera.

"Oh my God, a gimp just took my camera!" Pence shouted out.

"It must be what's been taking our -! After it!" Hayner shouted and ran after the white gimp. The others followed after Hayner while leaving Seifer and his two goons to nurse his wounds and pride.

"Roxas!" Seifer shouted. Roxas turned to look at Seifer.

"What?" Roxas asked.

"Isn't this romantic." He said.

"No." Roxas responded before running away. Eventually he ended up in the woods due to following the creature. He still kept running and eventually ended up at the gates of a mansion.

 _Master, we wants you to come with us and bring us ours- no yours precious with you_

The creature said in some whispering telepathic voice. "What?" Roxas said in confusion.

 _I'ma fight you and makes yous my bitch and takes your precious_

"What the hell are you talking about? What precious?" Roxas asked. The gimp wobbled and flew at Roxas. Roxas swung at the creature with his Greatest Weapon in the Universe and tried to his the creature. It dodged his strikes and slapped Roxas with it's feet as it did the worm in midair. Roxas had a look of shock on his face. "Why won't my Greatest Weapon in the Universe work?" Roxas cried out in despair. Suddenly his GWU became pixilated and changed into a keyblade. "Wow, that was cool." Roxas said to himself. The gimp looked at Roxas for a minute.

 _MY PRECIOUS_

The creature screamed before charging him. Roxas ducked under it and smacked it with his keyblade which caused the creature to disappear in a white flash of light. From this flash a bunch of photos fell to the ground. Roxas walked over to the photos and pick one up to reveal him and Hayner vomiting in a bucket together. "Ew…" Roxas said. He picked up another photo which was him and a shopkeeper licking toilets together. "What the hell is this?" Roxas said as he picked up a third photo which was him Hayner and Pence spooning together while Olette stood above the three laughing.

"These must never be seen." Roxas said before putting away the photos.

Eventually Roxas ran back to the hideout where his friends were standing next to each other. "Wow guys, I was just walking back from having to kick the thief's ass. But I see you guys are here doing nothing." Roxas said with exasperation. The trio looked at Roxas and took the photos.

"So does this mean we can talk about photos…" Pence said before his eyes widened. "Fuck yeah!" Pence shouted. Hayner just slapped him in the back of the head.

"Alright, Roxas we are going to leave and prepare for the irrelevant tournament that we are going to take part in. See ya." Hayner said while Olette followed and Pence lagged. Roxas decided that he would go back to sleep and deal with everything tomorrow.

In a room filled with monitors and computer screens a man in red robes covering black clothing. He sat in a chair staring at the screens with one eye. The other was covered by belts while his face was wrapped in red bandages. Next to him stood a man in a hooded black cloak. "The Organization has found Roxas…I have no idea how they did this, I thought that I had secured all our channels as well as blocked any and all traces of Roxas." Diz said with both annoyance and confusion.

The man behind him coughed. Diz turned around to look at the man. "What is it?" He asked.

"You know that Namine has used your computers before. I don't know but she might have alerted the Organization to us when she was looking up her yaoi porn." The man behind him said in a deep voice. 

"Oh damnit. We will need to speed up everything in order to get Sora's memories back." Diz stated with clarity.

"Alright Sarumon." The cloaked man replied.

"What have I told you about calling me that?" Diz asked.

"Not to." The cloaked man replied. Diz just hmphed before typing on his computer.

Roxas was at the moment standing before a bulletin board next to his friends. "So, what are we doing now?" Roxas asked Hayner.

"Well we need to get a train ticket to get to the beach and because of that we need to get money." Hayner replied.

"Yeah Roxas, we'll pretend to do jobs and leave all the work for you. We'll meet back up here in an hour. See ya!" Pence said to Roxas. Roxas turned to Olette.

"Please tell me that you'll help me." Roxas pleaded.

"Sorry but I am going off to stand here and do nothing but whine at you about how you aren't going fast enough." Olette replied. She turned around and stared at the bulletin board while doing nothing else. Pence and Hayner followed Olette's example and stared at the bulletin board.

Roxas sighed to himself before walking up to the bulletin board and pulling off a job. It read,

 _Looking for a good time. Meet me in the main square, I'll be in a blue car. Paying 4,500 munny._

When Roxas looked at this paper his eyes widened in shock. "Oh my God, I can get most of the work done with this job!" Roxas shouted before running away towards the main square. Eventually he made it to the blue square and saw the blue car. In it was a man in a blue suit with a pair of sunglasses on.

When Roxas ran up to the car the man put the window of his car down and handed Roxas the 4,500 munny to him then he unlocked the door. Roxas then got into the car and they both drove away. Thirty minutes later and the car came back where the man let Roxas out onto the pavement. Roxas had a horrified expression on his face as he clutched the munny in his hand.

"That was a fun time man. Call me again if you want to get paid for another good time." The man said as he drove away. Roxas fell into fetal position as he cried to himself. Twenty more minute later and he had completed his last job before running to the others.

"All right guys, I got our munny!" Roxas said.

"Great, now we can definitely go to the beach!" Olette said happily. All four then ran off to the train station and stood before the train station entrance.

"We can finally see Olette with even less of her clothes on!" Pence said lustily. Olette slapped him in the back of his head.

"Settle down you two. Now we lets go!" Hayner said as they ran away. Roxas was about to follow until he tripped. When Roxas looked up he saw a man in a black cloak that pulled him up. Roxas ignored it and ran off. "So where's the munny?" Hayner asked. Roxas checked his pockets but was unable to find the munny.

"It's gone! That guy in the black cloak took it!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Roxas, you must be going crazy. Anyway, lets go to the top of the clock tower and eat ice cream to celebrate Roxas' incompetence as well as the loss of his virginity!" Hayner shouted.

"Wait what! How do you guys know about that?!" Roxas asked.

"It's all over the internet. It's kinda hot…" Olette responded. Suddenly they were on top of the clock tower.

"Wait what-" Roxas said.

"Yeah it's okay that you're a failure Roxas." Hayner said to his friend.

 **-Meanwhile in the Lair of Ominous Ambiguous Helpful Side Characters-**

"Did I really need to mug a kid for some munny?" The cloaked man asked.

"Yes, I did not want to have to program a damn beach for those kids to play in. Besides the Organization would probably use it as another entry point into the matrix. Besides you could always buy us some sea salt ice-cream." Diz replied.

"Whatever. Do you want me to go get you some ice cream?" The cloaked man asked.

"Yes please." Diz replied. Diz then raised his finger into the air. "Oh, I also decided to speed up the simulation so be ready for it." Diz stated.

Roxas now found himself standing before Seifer. "Hey, how did I get here?" Roxas asked.

"Isn't this romantic? What are you doing here Roxas, the tournament is tomorrow. Unless you want to suck my dick now. I heard what you did to that guy." Seifer stated.

"Never, I'll beat you ass down Seifer." Roxas turned to leave but found his friends standing there. Hayner looked angry and shouted out "RAGE!" Before leaving. The two others followed. Roxas turned to look at Seifer.

"Isn't this romantic? You're having relationship issues with your possible significant other. Isn't that romantic?" Seifer said.

"No, now stop saying that!" Roxas shouted before running away.

 **-The Next Day-**

"And who will leave today as our new struggle champion!?" A fat man in a yellow vest, long sleeved green shirt, and brown pants said before the audience. "Most likely it will be our pimp daddy Zeitzer!" He shouted much to the fan girls' excitement.

Another announcer came up upon the stage and stood before the crowd. "Now then, we shall announce our new combatant to all of you! The first is our town protector who is also possibly in the closet, Seifer!"

"Isn't this roman- wait what did you just say?" Seifer asked. The announcer ignored him and continued on.

"Next is our midget in black face, Vivi!" He shouted. Vivi just stood there and did absolutely nothing.

"Now is our local bad boy who is possibly in love with his best friend yet unable to actually reveal his true feelings, Hayner!"

"What are you even talking about? Me and Roxas are just fr-" Hayner was then interrupted.

"And now finally is our main protagonist who is probably going to win this entire tournament, Roxas!" The announcer shouted.

"Damn straight!" Roxas replied.

"Now to begin this entire tournament. Also we are to inform you that we are sponsored by sea salt ice-cream. Good luck!" The man shouted before he walked off the stage. Hayner and Roxas walked onto the stage and looked at each other.

"It is time to fix our friendship…by beating the shit out of each other!" Hayner shouted before he charged at Roxas with his struggle bat otherwise known as the GWU.

"You don't understand the power of the weapon you wield. Now let me show you!" Roxas then charged at Hayner and both collided with their weapons crossing each other. They both removed their GWU's from one another's and swung once again. Roxas ducked under Hayner's swing and positioned his weapon so that the tip was under Hayner's chin. Roxas then with all his might shoved it at Hayner's face while shouting "FRIENDSHIP!" And he knocked Hayner out of both the ring and consciousness.

"And Roxas wins the battle!" The announcer shouted.

"So I guess we are cool now?" Roxas asked.

"Blurgh Bluh." Hayner responded.

"I'll take that as a yes due to you injuring your tongue and not because you have some possible brain damage." Roxas replied before picking Hayner up and dragging him over to Olette and Pence.

Seifer and Vivi appeared next on the stage and both of them stared at one another. "Isn't this romantic?" Seifer asked. Vivi in reply rushed at Seifer and hit him in his groin. Seifer collapsed to the ground in pain and stared at Vivi. "Isn't this romantic?" He asked before falling into unconsciousness.

"Well that was absolutely humiliating. Roxas you are up!" Roxas got up to the stage and stepped over the body of Seifer. Both he and Vivi face off against one another until everything suddenly froze.

"What the…" Roxas said as he looked around the area. Just then a black portal opened up before him and out from it walked a man in a black hooded cloak with matching boots and gloves. He had enormous spiky red hair and green eyes. Under each of his eyes was a tear shaped mark. He had a large grin as he looked at Roxas.

"Hey there buddy!" The man shouted. Roxas cocked his head at the man.

"Who are you?" Roxas asked as he stared at the man with slight confusion. The man's grin turned into a frown when he heard this.

"Oh come on now, it's Axel. Got it memorized?" He asked.

"Nope, it still isn't ringing any bells." Roxas replied. Axel chuckled to himself.

"Then I will need to remind you of who I am," Axel said as he held his hands out to his sides. In both of them flames appeared before dispersing to reveal red chakrams. "By giving you brain damage in order to jog your memory!" He shouted out. Suddenly Axel froze before Roxas.

"What the-" Roxas began.

" **Roxas, come to the mansion!** " A voice shouted. Roxas looked around but saw no one. " **Come to the mansion!"** The voice shouted again.

"Fine, I'll come to your mansion! Now shut up!" Roxas shouted out.

" **Come to the mansion!** " The voice shouted. Roxas gave up in trying to argue with the voice and looked over to his friends who were frozen mid cheer. Roxas walked over to them and gained an idea. When Roxas was finished, Hayner was placed with his crotch over Pence's ass in mid-hump while Pence was bent over. Olette on the other hand was positioned to stand on top of both Hayner and Pence. Roxas looked one last time at the view before he ran away.

Eventually he made it to the mansion and entered it. Suddenly the doors closed behind him and a dark portal appeared before him. From it stepped out Axel who looked incredibly angry. "Hey, Roxas! I am getting a little annoyed that our reunion is not going as I planned. You run off from the organization, disappear for a while, and now when I find you, you can't even remember who I AM!" Axel screamed out in anger.

Axel's face contorted itself into a grin as he breathed in deeply. "But, I know that as your faithful buddy slash possible romantic interest, I can help you remember…by GIVING YOU MASSIVE BRAIN DAMAGE! NOW GET OVER HERE BITCH!" Axel screamed out and held his two hands out where his chakrams appeared once again. Suddenly both of them were surrounded in a ring of fire.

"Really, you had to do this…" Roxas deadpanned.

"Yes, yes I did." Axel replied. Roxas just breathed in deeply. Suddenly his head felt like it was about to explode and he grabbed his head with both of his head. Axel looked at Roxas with some worry.

"You okay buddy?" Axel asked. Roxas lowered his hands and looked at Axel with a slight smile on his face.

"Yeah, and you know what I learned," Roxas replied.

"What?" Axel asked.

"How to dual wield." Roxas said before in his hand two keyblades appeared. One was a black and purple colored blade while the other was a light silver color with a flower like blade at the end.

"You do know that your keyblade looks kinda girly, right Roxas?" Axel asked.

"But these keyblades are going to kick your ass. Now let's fight!" Roxas shouted out before running at Axel. The battle that ensued was one to be remembered as Roxas and Axel duked it out. Flames and the blades of keyblade and chakram clashed with one another but it was all over when Roxas had one idea to defeat Axel.

"Hey, Axel!" Roxas called out. Axel who was in the middle of throwing one of his chakrams at Roxas paused in mid throw.

"What?" He asked.

"I never loved you!" Roxas shouted out. Axel just froze when he heard this revelation. Both of his chakrams dropped to the ground.

"What?" Axel asked disbelief. Roxas took this moment of weakness and rushed at Axel and swung both of his keyblades down upon his body. Axel fell to one knee as he stared at Roxas. Roxas was breathing heavily as he looked down at his fallen opponent.

"Roxas, did you really mean that?" Axel asked Roxas.

"You are my friend I think, so I'll have a place in my heart for you." Roxas replied to Axel. Axel smirked at this.

"Then I guess that the fan girls can still rejoice. I hope that we can see each other…in another life." Axel said as his form began to disperse into black particles.

"Yeah, I hope so too." Roxas replied before Axel disappeared. Roxas then let his keyblades disappear into a cloud of smoke and light respectively before he walked away and into another room.

He found himself standing in a room filled with computer monitors. He looked around in confusion. "Where am I?" He asked aloud.

 **You have managed to somehow skip past most of your prologue to the game which shouldn't have happened. Good luck with the rest of your no life…sucker.**

"Okay…that was weird. Now then, let's check these computers." Roxas said as he walked over to the monitors. When he checked them he saw, "What the hell!" He exclaimed. On the computer monitors were a bunch of pictures of Roxas and Hayner making out. "No!" He shouted out. In his hand a burst of light appeared before disappearing to reveal a keyblade, "No, no, no," He said softly.

Roxas then took a swing at the console, "No, no, no, NO, NO!" Roxas said, his voice growing louder with each swing.

"NO, NO, NO, NO!" He screamed as the console became more and more damaged. Finally the console sputtered out some sparks before all of the monitors turned off. Roxas stood with his keyblade in his hand breathing heavily. He decided to keep walking to see if there were more computers to destroy.

Roxas made it to a hallway where he saw two pods to the side. Curiosity filled him when he walked over to the pods to see what was inside it. When Roxas peered into the first pod he saw a giant duck in blue clothes. "Whoa. Who knew that they were doing experiments in here? This is freaky." Roxas said as he walked over to the next pod. In it was a giant dog.

"Okay, they did some really messed up things here." Roxas remarked and looked at both of these weird creatures until he got bored. Roxas then turned and looked down the hall to see a white room. Roxas decided to see what was in this room and so he ran towards it. When he entered the room he saw a massive white pod in the center of the room.

"What is this thing?" Roxas asked aloud.

"That thing as you call it is Sora." A voice said from behind him. Roxas jumped before he turned around to see a man in red robes and a head wrapped in red bandages.

"Hey, who the hell are you!?" Roxas shouted as he pointed his keyblade at the man.

"I am the one who created this overly long prologue to a video game whose main character is your somebody." Diz replied.

"Okay, what do you mean by somebody?" Roxas asked.

"I mean that you are a creature known as a nobody, that means that the person who was originally your somebody became a heartless whose relevance to the plot was so strong, that they managed to created a nobody from the process. You are one of those beings." Diz replied.

"So what you're telling me is that I'm just some side plot of the main protagonist." Roxas summed up.

"Yes." Diz replied.

"I don't believe you, shut up!" Roxas shouted out before he ran at Diz and swung his keyblade at the man. The only reaction he got from the man was his form digitizing whenever the keyblade hit him. "Okay, total hax!" Roxas shouted out.

"I'm sorry but do you think I'm that stupid to remain here and not have a digital duplicate. I mean, you're not exactly that mentally stable. Also, I did create the matrix and shove you inside it. I would obviously have back ups incase you pulled a Neo and escaped. Anyway, you really screwed up my plans with somehow using as you call them…hax, to somehow skip past most of this prologue of the game which I still don't understand how you did it. But you should know that the pod next to you has Sora in it. Bye!" Diz said before he disappeared into a bunch of particle of code.

"Damnit!" Roxas shouted before he threw his keyblade into the ground. It reappeared in his hand a few second later. "Oh screw you!" He shouted at his keyblade. Suddenly the pod next to him opened up to reveal within it a sleeping Sora who was in too small clothes for his now older frame.

"Huh, so I guess you are the main protagonist. Well I hope you have fun dealing with this confusing plot because I have no idea what's going on. I quit." Roxas said and he threw his keyblade at the pod to emphasize this. It reappeared back into Roxas' hands much to his annoyance.

"Oh sonuvabitch!" Roxas shouted as he walked away from the pod.

 **And that is a wrap for chapter one. I hope that you guys liked it. Please tell me what you thought in the comment section below, and stay frosty my friends.**


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